Unveiling Phases of Discovering Your Calling: Insights from Writing My Book S4E68

Have you ever wondered what it truly takes to discover your life's calling?

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on my journey of writing a book about this very topic, and I'm excited to share with you some of the most powerful insights I've gained along the way.

As I've been crafting this book and reflecting on my Discovering Your Calling Academy, I've realized just how transformative this process can be. Today, I'm giving you a sneak peek into four of the eight phases that I guide my students through, and that I'm exploring in depth in my upcoming book.

Key Points/Topics I Cover

• Why envisioning your ideal life is crucial (and the questions you need to ask yourself)
• How to leverage your strengths using CliftonStrengths (and when to dial them up or down)
• My unique approach to setting strengths-based goals (hint: it's not what you think)
• The power of discovering your deep "why" (and how to find it)
• A behind-the-scenes look at my book-writing process

Inspiring Quotes:

"You can't have success without sacrifice, but you can have success without sacrificing those you love."

"If it's not on the calendar, it's not happening. It's not real."

"Keep asking yourself, 'Why does that matter?' about seven layers deep. Because that's the why that will make you cry."

Are you ready to start your own journey of discovery?

I invite you to reflect on these questions:

1. What does your ideal life look like in 5 years? 3 years? 6 months?
2. What's one small action step you can take tomorrow towards your dream life?
3. What's your deep, emotional "why" for wanting to discover your calling?

Join me next week as I tackle the question, "Is it Worth the Risk?" We'll explore the challenges and rewards of switching careers or starting a new business. And don't forget – you can now send me your questions or topic suggestions directly through the link in the show notes. I can't wait to hear from you!

Transcript

Speaker 1 00:00:02 

 Hey friends, welcome back to the Discovering Your Calling podcast. I am your host Sheri Miter. And before we jump into today's podcast episode, I wanted to share one of the great reviews that my listeners have shared on Apple Podcast. So this is from Chris Pierce and she says, step into your purpose. Discovering your calling is filled with guidance, advice, and faith based encouragement to help you step into your purpose and what God's calling you to do. Sherry speaks with warmth, knowledge and knowhow as she cheers us on to step into our future. Chris, thank you so much for taking the time to leave that fabulous review. I really, really appreciate it. And you know what reviews do help listeners find the show. Okay, how do we have that out out there? Starlin, cut off that last little piece. I don't need to say now that we have that out there. So thank you again for everybody who has taken the time to review the podcast. So today, as I promised in the last episode, I'm going to share just a little bit of actually things I've learned in this process of writing my Discovering Your Calling book, but also some tidbits about what's inside the book and what's inside the Discovering Your Calling academy.

Speaker 1 00:01:23  And you know, there are eight phases that I take my students through and the reader through for the Discovering Your Calling Academy. And today, I'm just going to kind of pull out four little tidbits from four different phases, because there are ones that either were a big reminder as I listened to the replay of different cohorts that I've done, I was like, oh, that was really good. Or wow, I forgot how impactful that was for the listener or for the students in that. Or there are pieces that I've been using in order to write this book and get it done because there's similar you know, it's very similar. The process of writing the book is very similar to the whole process of discovering your calling and figure out what is that career that you are designed to do that will make you feel like you have a purpose and give you fulfillment. So anyway, let's break these down and I apologize if this episode feels like a firehose coming at you, because it feels like it's a lot of random things, but they kind of all tie together.

Speaker 1 00:02:40  So hopefully you'll see that. And one way that you might want to listen to this, if it starts to feel like a lot, is break down the four chunks, you know, listen to the first part, take a pause, think about it, answer the questions, and then come back to the podcast. Listen to the second part. So feel free to do that. You know, whatever serves you best. Okay, let's jump into this. So the first phase is actually phase two that I wanted to talk about. And that's the visionary phase. And I got the word visionary from a book I read a while back from an Andy Stanley. And in that phase, we really dig deep into what we want our life to look like. And, you know, what's the vision you have for your life? And you know, what will your life look like when you have your ideal dream career that is energizing and you find success with ease? Like, what's that going to feel like? And we work on really designing the life you want first and then figuring out what is your ideal career that's going to allow you to create that lifestyle you dream about, which is so contradictory to what society teaches us, right? Because in society you have a career and then you're left to fill in.

Speaker 1 00:04:01  Put your life around all the little pieces and chunks of time left after you do your career. And we want to flip that. And that's one of the things that, you know, one of the most important phases that we go through in the discovering your calling process. And I've also been doing that myself because I needed to keep in mind what will life look like when this book is done, and even what will life look like for each step along the way of finishing this book? You know what is it going to feel like when I finally have the rough draft finished? What is it going to feel like when I turned it all over to the self-publishing company to get it published? What is it going to feel like when I actually hold that book in my hands? And it's about really getting so emotionally attached to those feelings, to those thoughts, to the visions you have in your brain. And when we're doing the visionary phase in the Discovering Your Calling Academy and I share these questions in the book is I take the students through first of all like, what is the problem you have right now that we're trying to move from and think about questions like, and again, these are questions that you can, you know, pause and repeat and write these down so you can take yourself through these questions.

Speaker 1 00:05:28  But it's things like what bothers you the most about your current situation. And are you able to use your natural gifts and talents in your current career? So many people aren't. And then what is happening in your life because of this situation? Like how does you not be unhappy in your career? How is it affecting your relationships, your physical health, your mental well-being, your soul? Like how is it affecting everything in your life because you're caught in this place that you're not satisfied with your career or your life. And, you know, I share in the book and with my students that I know sometimes when we go into these questions and really sit with them, it can be kind of depressing because it really brings the light like, oh, I really don't like this. And, you know, I don't know about you, but sometimes I can feel like, like, oh, that's just going to send me on the couch with a pint of ice cream and Netflix. But it's important to know, like where we're at and then move into where we want to be.

Speaker 1 00:06:36  And that's the whole visioning part. And that's where it gets exciting. And this is where you can, you know, grab a pen and journal and really think about these next questions, which are going to be way more exciting as you search for your calling. And there are questions like, if you knew you couldn't fail, what would you love to be doing? And what are you curious about and always wanted to try? Or what would you love to study or learn about? I mean, it could be jewelry making. It doesn't matter what it is, just jot these things down. I love this one. If you could live and work anywhere, where would you live? Like this is the time to really dream big. When we get into this stage, and how many days and hours a week would you really prefer to work? Who says a career has to be 40 hours a week? Then what would you do with your free time if you could cut down the hours you worked? How would you feel that time up? And then the other question I'll share right here.

Speaker 1 00:07:41  There's more that we talk about, but the other one I wanted to share with you today was, do you dream about being an entrepreneur and running your own business? Is that something that's in your heart and soul? And you think, oh, that would be fun? Or do you prefer to work for someone else to be part of a team in that respect? Now again, for myself writing this book, I had to really spend time visualizing again what will life look like? Not just in that process, as I already shared, but when the book is actually finished. And what will life look like when hopefully doors will be opened? When this book is out there in the world, I hope it opens up more speaking engagements. The opportunity to be invited to do retreats for women to figure out their calling. You know the impact it's going to make on others lives. So that's just a little bit about the visionary phase and which is actually phase two. Now I'm kind of doing this in a backward order because now I want to talk about phase one.

Speaker 1 00:08:50  And phase one is starting with strengths. And honestly phase one takes like when I'm teaching this live and it discovered your calling Academy. It's actually three sessions that we do this phase one of the strings. And even in the book it took up several chapters because this is huge, you know, cliftonstrengths and and knowing and talking about your God-Given talents is weaved throughout the course, throughout the book. It's not just a one time, you know, we talk about it here and never mention it again. It's like the vital part of this whole process. I call your strengths your compass, rose. They're the thing that when people start getting lost or feeling frustrated or getting confused, it's like, go back to your strengths. Go back to your strengths like a broken record. Just read your report again. Read your report again. There's so much wealth in that Cliftonstrengths 34 report. But, you know, and as I was reviewing the videos of, again, the live cohort, that's kind of been my process for writing the book is I was reminded how and in one of the other phases where we talked about strengths based goal setting.

Speaker 1 00:10:06  One of the most profound things the students got out of it was when I shared about dialing up and dialing down your talent themes. Because here's the thing we talk about all the time how your talents and your strengths can help you succeed in life with more ease and with more energy and how they're there to support you. But your talent themes can also hinder your progress, and they can get in the way and slow you down, sometimes even stop you. And that was like this light bulb moment when I shared that in this live cohort. So of course I wanted to make sure that was shared in the book, and I wanted to share that with you today. And what do I mean by that? So an example I share inside the book is I have learner and activator in my top ten, and my learner theme is one that you know helps me, always want to be learning things. Like, I love to consume books. I love to take courses. I love to watch videos on thing. Anything.

Speaker 1 00:11:10  How to, whether it's wine tasting to cooking to, of course, you know, anything about cliftonstrengths or being a better coach, mindset. All those things, like I'm always consuming things. But I also know there comes a point when I need to stop learning and implement what I've learned. Because if I if I stay in learning mode too long, I start to feel overwhelmed with, oh my gosh, I heard this idea and that idea and oh my gosh, did I do follow this person or that person? And it just it can freeze me up and I do nothing. And if you're high learner, you probably know exactly what I mean. And that's when I need to dial down my learner theme and stop learning and dial up my activator talent theme, which wants to get in go mode. So activator is all about like, let's just get to work. So that's an example of how we need to know when to dial up, when to dial down, when is the strength going to help us, and when is one going to get in the way.

Speaker 1 00:12:20  But here's the thing like activator in that scenario can help me go. But activator two, I got to be careful with that because I I've got a strategize before I go. So it's it's a, it's a dance really of knowing when when to lean on a strength and when to like oop okay. That one's being overused or that's going to hinder me right now. So we spent a lot of time inside the discovering your call in academy, really talking about all of those things. So the other phase I wanted to mention actually, was the phase that we kind of talked about dialing up and dialing down, and that's phase seven. And that's when we set strength based goals and we do a whole process on goal setting that looks totally different than anything you've ever done before. We don't do Smart goals in the discover in your academy. We do hard goals and that's based on a book from Mark Murphy. But then we bring it in and we make it strengths based goals. And I take the reader through, if you're reading the book when it's done or in the in the Academy.

Speaker 1 00:13:26  We start by looking with a wide lens and look five years out and then bring it down to three years and one year. What do you want your life to look like? So it ties into the visioning phase that we went through, but then we bring it all the way down to the micro. What action step do you need to do today? So we start really wide and bring it down to what needs to happen today. What's that action step today that's going to lead you to where you want to be. in, you know, three months. Where do you want to be in six months? Where are you going to be in a year, three years? Five years? So we start wide and go down very, very narrow. And when we get to that narrow part, you know, it becomes essential that we figure out when are we going to do that action step. And I realized when I was, you know, again, playing back the videos that a lot of the students get stuck in that because they're like, well, I'm already so busy, when am I ever even going to fit this single step in? And I talked some about this recently about just sometimes it's just 15 minutes, but it's also inside the book.

Speaker 1 00:14:40  In the in the program, we really talk about how you do have to prioritize, and there's going to be a time that you will have to make some decisions on what to prioritize, what needs to be let go of in order to make space to work towards this goal. That in this vision that you have for your life. And you know, I have a saying that go that, a quote that I've talked about several times is you can't have success without sacrifice, but you can have success without sacrificing those you love. And what do I mean by that? I mean that there's going to be things you're going to have to give up in order to make room and space to do the thing you want to do. Now, for me, honestly, things I had to give up in order to find time to write was procrastinating. In the morning. I had to give up on creating other projects that I wanted to do for my business. I had to give up time going to the beach and the pool.

Speaker 1 00:15:46  And here's a huge one. I had to give up time scrolling social media so nothing too earth shattering like it, really. I had to get disciplined on getting up in the morning and making sure I got to work earlier rather than spending two hours sitting and having my coffee. You know, it's sometimes we just we waste. We know how to waste time really well. And I know some of you are super duper busy. You have small children. You have you have jobs that are demanding. But where can you just carve out 15 minutes for yourself to work towards something that's going to change your life and your family's life? And it might be, you know, because we also talk about in another phase, priorities and, not priorities, but not or, essentials are non-negotiables and maybe a non-negotiable you have is sitting down for dinner. You know, every night is important to you. Keep the hat. But do you have to be the one that cleans up the dinner, the mess afterwards? Can somebody else do that so you can go work on your passion project? So what are the things that you can give up temporarily in order to start working towards the vision and dream you have for your life, and then plug it in to your calendar.

Speaker 1 00:17:07  Put it down in the calendar because we all know if it's not on the calendar, it's not happening. It's not real. All right, so the last phase I wanted to mention here today was the impact phase. And that's phase six where we talk about the impact you're going to have and why that is important. Why does that matter to you and why does that matter to the world that you do this. And it's so important to know your deep down. Why? Because when doubt and fear and you get tired and you feel overwhelmed and all those emotions creep in, it's your Y that's going to keep you going. And inside the book, I teach what I call the peel back the onion. And it's really finding that deep down why. And you've probably heard me talk about it on the podcast, but it's getting down to that deep layer to the Y that makes you cry. And it's asking yourself the questions. Well, why does that even matter? And then you you come up with that answer and you think about it and then, well, why do you even want that in your life? Or why does that matter? Until you can really get down again to that deep, deep layer.

Speaker 1 00:18:19  And like I said, that makes you emotional, that makes you either cry or almost cry because that's the real why, you know, otherwise. A lot of those times, the why we say to begin with, it's pretty superficial. It's not really the Y that's going to keep you going when you are tired and you are sacrificing something, you need to know that heartfelt, deep y. And it's got to be very personal to you, and that's what's going to drive you to work towards this dream life. And, you know, after we did this exercise in one of the Discovering Your Calling Academy cohorts again, just heard this on the video replay of it. One of the students said this and I wanted to share this with you. And she said, thank you for helping me bring back up my why. I've had to step away for a minute because I got so overwhelmed with everything. She's high learner too, and I couldn't see what the purpose was anymore. I was going through the motions and pushing and pushing.

Speaker 1 00:19:22  I lost my y, I lost y I was doing what I've been doing. This exercise reminded me I'm going to be more motivated to go back and do what I need to do to accomplish my goals. I'm reminded to take the time to step back, reset my goals, and take needle moving action instead of wasting time and energy. Wow. So powerful. Right? And that's what when you know your Y and you're clear on that, it's going to help. You know why you're doing this? Because you're going to have days like that. Like, why am I even doing this? It's so much easier just to say stuck in this career. And for me, writing this book, I constantly have to remind myself of my why. And you know, one of my deeper whys is honestly just making my husband proud. He wants this book, I think, more than I do some days. so I need to finish this for him. And I keep that vision in my head of what is it going to feel like when he has this book and he's holding it in his hands? And I also know that this book can change lives, and it's a generational effect because I've seen it.

Speaker 1 00:20:32  What happens when somebody goes from being burnt out and depressed and and a little hateful because they don't enjoy their job anymore to having a purpose, to being more fulfilled, being happier in their career, having more energy to give to the ones they really love, and just being more joyful. It has a ripple effect to how it affects our communities and our world. And that's my bigger driving. Why? One of them, I should say. I also know that there's going to be more people that will read this book that I'm writing than I'll ever be able to reach in a coaching program. So those are some of the whys that keep me going. So what's a deep, dark, not dark, but deep, deep. Why you have again, keep asking yourself, why does that matter? And why does that matter about seven layers deep? Because that's the why that will make you cry. Okay my friends. So again, I know that just sharing these four phases and these four tidbits kind of random might have felt, again, like that firehose, coming at you.

Speaker 1 00:21:44  So break it down, listen to each part separately. But I, I urge you to ask yourself the questions that I posed today. Think about them. You know, what is your deep why? What are your strengths? Have you done the cliftonstrengths thing yet? If not, reach out to me. or just go to Gallup and take the assessment. You don't have to go through me. Vision hearing. What do you want your life to look like five years from now? Three years from now? Six months from now. You know, what's the wide lens? What's your goals? What's the action step you can take tomorrow to start working towards that dream life? And if this episode has left you a little more curious about the Discovering Your Calling Academy and or the book, please make sure you tune in every Tuesday, to a new episode, because I'm working on a very cool project behind the scenes that's going to enable you to hear a lot more about the eight phase of the eight phases of the Discovering Your Calling Academy right here on the podcast.

Speaker 1 00:22:53  And I promise I'll just cover one phase at a time so it won't be so confusing. But first I have to use my focus theme so I can finish the rough draft and the editing to get that part done. That is my priority right now. But next week I will be back with another juicy episode for you. And I think I'm going to be sharing an episode on Is It Worth the risk? So is it worth the risk to switch careers? Is it worth the risk to start a new business? So because I've had some people say risk is something that keeps them stuck. But anyway, and if you enjoyed today's episode, I would love to hear you know, which of the topics would you like me to go a little bit more into? which topics left you having more questions and or if there's a topic you would love for me to cover on this, send me a text. There's actually a direct link now, and the show notes where you can send me a direct message or direct text message.

Speaker 1 00:23:53  Super cool. So anyway, thanks for tuning in to the Discovering Your Calling podcast, and I will catch you next week on Tuesday.